(As the Sea World tragedy proved, not all visits to the aquarium are fun-filled. Could your family be subjected to nautical nightmares, too? Find out with today's list . . .)
12 Signs You're At A Bad Aquarium
1. --When you enter they hand you bait and a fishing rod.
2. --It charges extra to have sex with the dolphins.
3. --No blowfish . . . just Hootie.
4. --The "crab" exhibit is the hot tub from "Jersey Shore".
5. --Aquaman just tapped your foot from the next bathroom stall.
6. --The whale-songs are Auto-Tuned.
7. --Any child lost and not claimed within two hours is fed to the giant squid.
8. --Three words: Penguin lap dances.
9. --The sharks just float there after you push your wife into their tank.
10. --The sponges on the display are contraceptive.
11. --You see a bunch of Japanese guys with harpoons.
12. --The sign in front reads, "Bad Aquarium".
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